When it comes to sex, you have many options. Butt… there is so much more in store when you open a new door that most people keep locked without a second thought. It’s time to dust off that key and open the backdoor for a new experience with butt plugs that give you brand-new sensations you didn’t know were possible.
Still on the fence? Well take a look at this. Both men and women are more likely to reach orgasm when entering through the backdoor. A study found 100% of men and 94% of women climaxed when having anal sex. Compare that to 65% of heterosexual women who regularly orgasm during sexual intercourse. In this study, men, regularly orgasm 95% of the time during sex. Want to increase your likelihood of orgasming? Then anal sex could be for you.
But before you go on this brand-new adventure, we have a roadmap so you can have the most pleasurable experience possible.
The Basics
Let’s start with the basics: what exactly is a butt plug, who uses them, and what are they used for.
What is a Butt Plug?
These toys are inserted into the anus and can be used to prepare for anal sex. Choose between silicone, vibrating, or glass plugs! Just make sure your toy has a flared base that can help you remove it with ease. If you’re a beginner, a plug made of soft, flexible silicone is a great first toy. Make sure your eyes aren’t bigger than your anus. Start small and increase the size when you’re ready. These toys are usually tapered (shaped like a cone) to make insertion more comfortable. You can use it to prepare for anal sex or keep it in place for penetrative sex.
Are They Just for Men?
No! Everyone can enjoy these versatile toys regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Men are known for enjoying anal sex due to the stimulation of their prostate (located a few inches on the front wall of the anus), leading to orgasm. In fact, some men can orgasm just from having their prostate massaged.
Women can also get more sensation thanks to this versatile toy. While inserted, it will stimulate the back of the vaginal wall (aka the g-spot). Plus, the anus is full of nerve endings, like the pudendal nerve. This carries sensation from the clitoris and penis and is involved in controlling orgasms.
Other Uses
Butt plugs aren’t just for anal sex prep. Women can keep it in during oral, solo, or penetrative sex. Then, when they orgasm, it will feel more intense as the nerve endings in the anus are stimulated. Plus, their partner will get an added benefit during penetrative sex. The toy will take up some space in the pelvis, making the vagina seem smaller. This is also a popular toy in in dominance and submission play. One example is having the sub wear one for several hours while in public.
How to Use
Now that you know what you’re working with, here’s how to use one so that you can have the most pleasurable first experience possible.
Prep
This is a very important step! Make sure you prepare before using any anal toy. The key to your pleasure is relaxation. If you’re trying this with a partner, a great way to decrease stress is to talk to them about comfort levels before even taking the butt plug out of the box. Let them know what you want out of the experience. Also, if you’re new to the sensation and worried about making a mess, a good first step is going to the bathroom.
Before inserting the toy, keep in mind that anuses are not self-lubricating like vaginas. You’ll need more time (and lubrication) to get comfortable. Foreplay is a great way to relax and slowly begin sexy time. Try turning each other on with oral sex and then explore with fingers. When you’re ready, put some lubricant on your or your partners fingers and slowly insert them in the anus. Start with one and then increase to two or three as you get used to the feeling.
Lubricant
Yes, lubricant is getting its own section. It’s. That. Important. As mentioned above, the anus doesn’t self-lubricate. If not properly lubricated, this can cause tears and irritation. Invest in a quality silicone lubricant that is long-lasting and doesn’t quickly absorb into the skin. This is not the time to be conservative with your lubricant. Completely cover anything that is going to be inserted, like fingers or toys.
Another addition that can increase your comfort is using a soothing comfort gel. Just apply it to the anal opening and prepare for fun. The non-numbing formula won’t decrease pleasure and pairs perfectly with a silicone-based lubricant.
Inserting
Now you’re relaxed and turned on and have experimented with gently inserting a lubricant-covered finger or two. When you start to feel comfortable, insert the butt plug. If you’re using our anal trainer kit, begin with the smallest and move on to try the larger sizes as you get more experience. Make the most of that lube! Cover the plug generously and slowly insert it while relaxing and breathing deeply. A great position, especially if you’re new to these toys, is the doggy style position.
Keep in mind that your anus is about one inch long and is made up of two rings of muscle, aka the sphincter muscles. Sex expert Jessica O’Reilly writes in her book “The New Sex Bible: The New Guide to Sexual Love” that bearing “down slightly with your sphincter muscles” can help when inserting a toy for the first time. You may not be able to fully insert it on the first try, and that’s ok. Relax, breath, add more lube, and try again.
Removing
When you’re finished with your fun, keep the gentle motions going when removing your butt plug. Take it out slowly and with big breaths. Sexpert O’Reilly says that if you’ve orgasmed during anal play, when removing can be easier since orgasms relax the pelvic floor.
Wash! Hands and Toy
You’re not done yet! Cleaning your hands and toy are an essential step when ending anal play. Wash your hands with soap and then invest in a great cleanser that will clean, protect, and polish your toy. Begin with a rinse, spritz, and then rinse again to remove bacteria and protect from transferring STIs if you’re sharing with a partner. Then, pat it dry with a towel before storing in a dry, temperature-controlled place.
Another important cleaning note for any toy, do not directly go from anal to vaginal play without first thoroughly cleaning toys/hands. If you don’t, you could possibly pass bacteria between the two and increase your chance of infection or irritation.
How to Start Shopping
Here are the basics of buying a butt plug. Make sure it is made with a non-porous material. This ensures that it can be cleaned of bacteria between uses. Also, ensure your toy has a flared base so it doesn’t have any chance to get stuck. Read on for three toys you can check out as a first-time user.
Anal Trainer Kit
A great option for beginners, this set of graduated butt plugs is tapered for easy insertion and a flexible shaft. You can graduate to the largest size as you increase your comfort. Plus, it’s made of silky, soft silicone.
5th Base
If you want to add vibration into the mix, try a two-in-one toy with a removable, vibrating bullet. With this, you have the option of vibration with three speeds and six pulsing patterns, or you can enjoy the tapered sleeve alone. Hold the ring during for easy removal.
Back It Up
If you’re looking to add a thrill, this toy hits two points of pleasure. The insertable section stimulates the prostate with thumping action, while the external perineum teaser provides powerful vibration and stimulation.
As you go on your anal play adventure, keep these three things in mind: communicate, lubricate, and go slow! This could be the first-time experience that opens the door to many new pleasures and sensations.