Solo Sex Secrets Revealed

Solo Sex Secrets Revealed

Solo sex is, by definition, solo. This works great for some but for others who are used to feeding off a partner’s sexual energy, it can take a bit to get into the mindset for a mind-blowing self-induced pleasure session. Check out these inspirational suggestions to help you get those “juices” flowing.

Whether you’re a solo sex (masturbation) expert or brand new, you’re sure to find something fun to try below!

Set the mood

If you like seeing and hearing other people getting it on… try visual erotica or porn. Porn sometimes gets a bad rap. While mainstream pornography can involve iffy ethics and have negative effects on people’s self-esteem and body image, there are fantastic alternatives out there. It’s also a great time to be supporting webcammers and Onlyfans. This way, you get to have your orgasm and support small businesses too, win-win.

If you’re more of a reader or listener, there are tons of places to find short and full-length written & audio erotica on the internet. These forms let you imagine the people involved as you read/listen. You can choose to imagine yourself and partners or cast a more diverse set of sexy time performers. Fantasy works this way, too. The only difference is that with fantasizing, you are in complete control of the set of events that play out deliciously in your mind.

Erotica, in all forms, can be especially helpful for experiencing acts and scenes that turn you on but are not something you want to play out or are not an option in real life. Consider them an opportunity to escape into your fantasy worlds.

Location, location, location

Did you ever, or currently, live in a place where you had to hide your masturbation sessions? Maybe you shared a room as a kid or currently have a roommate or kids and privacy can be hard to come by. While this article can’t solve your living situation, it can offer some ideas.

If you live somewhere with more than one bathroom, or have your own room, take some time to love yourself up. Add candles, music, incense, or whatever will help you get into a relaxed state of mind. Try lotioning up your body so you smell and feel good. Start a slow romance with yourself. If you have kids, see if someone else (or a movie) can take care of them for a while. If it’s friends/roomies, let them know that you are self-caring (you don’t need to tell them it’s through solo sex) and ask them to use another space for the next hour or two. You deserve time to self-indulge.

If you are adventurous, try getting frisky outside in a place that will not lead to non-consensual exposure. Climb onto the roof of where you live. Go to a nearby wooded area or a deserted beach. If you have a car, go somewhere people won’t stumble upon your private time. Masturbation under the stars sounds dreamy as hell, doesn’t it?

If you live alone or with no concerns about someone seeing you engage in solo sex, try going at it in different rooms. See what it feels like to get it on in the kitchen or living room. A change of scenery can bring some life back into a tired solo sex game.

Solo sex techniques

Regardless of what you got going on between your legs, diversity is the spice of life. Our bodies can get used to one type of stimulation, making it harder to enjoy other forms. Consider the next two sections an invitation to try new things and to teach your body more ways to O.


It’s common to think of a hand going up and down a shaft, over and over again, often with a fast speed. If this is you, consider trying a rubbing technique, or dry humping, where you are experiencing sensations. You can also try the twist technique where you grip, lightly, and twist. Have your hands one above the other, and twist in opposite directions. Don’t forget to try playing with the balls and the perineum (the skin between the scrotum and penis) or stimulating your prostate (either through the perineum or through anal play).


Clitorises can vary widely in what type of stimulation they enjoy. This can vary within the same person, too, depending on a number of factors. Try different pressures, direct and indirect touch, changing angles by playing with the mons or labia, and different patterns (tapping, circles, squeezing, horizontal or vertical swipes, etc.). You can also try varying levels of lubrication and even whether you touch yourself under or over clothing (to create different sensations).


Most people with vaginas need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Some like the combo effect and others like to concentrate on the internal. Try mixing up the angle of your body or experiment with depth and shallowness. You may try holding a toy in the first inch of your opening while playing with your clitoris and feeling your vagina tighten around the top of the toy. You can thrust toys or fingers fast and hard, slowly, and even have them sit deep inside without movement. If using your fingers, you can try a “come hither” motion with one or two fingers or a pressing motion to stimulate the G-spot area.

Everything else

Test out the many erogenous zones across your body. Solo sex is an opportunity to know you. Whether it’s playing with your backdoor, your nipples, or that sensitive spot around your belly button, enjoy the sensations of you.

Coming (all puns intended) prepared

Solo sex does not have to mean unassisted sex. There are all sorts of toys and tools to give yourself a better time. For example, if you’re concerned about clean-up, consider putting a towel down, having a sock, cup, or tissues at the ready. That way, you’re not preoccupied about what might happen to your sheets if you have an excellent time.

Sex toys come in all shapes and sizes. Through this link you can find:

  • Vibrational toys that are fun not just for clitorises but nipples, scrotums, anuses, back of the neck, base of the penis etc.
  • Air suction toys good for the clitoris and nipples
  • Penetrative toys for vaginas and others for anuses (all anal penetration toys should have an anchor or flared base to make sure it doesn’t end up lost inside your body)
  • Nipple and clitoral clamps, and c-rings
  • Implements for solo impact play
  • Penis sheaths and sleeves, some of which are good for transmasculine folk on T

Lastly, don’t forget about lubricants. Lube is the best friend of both solo and partnered sex.

Inviting others to play

Even if you’re the only one who will be touching you, it doesn’t mean your solo sex session has to be fully solo. Consider connecting with a partner or via phone sex or video sex. You can watch porn with your partner, describe what you want to do to one another, pose, and even control one another’s toys.

Release pressure & shame

It’s important to know that there is nothing wrong with solo sex. It’s totally natural and actually good for your body and mind (as long as the idea of doing it isn’t distressing you). You also don’t have to orgasm to have a successful and pleasurable solo sex session. While orgasms are great, don’t put pressure on yourself if one isn’t coming. Let your body ride the different sensations you are trying and if an orgasm (or several) comes great. If not, you had some lovely me-time.

Happy exploring!

Back to blog