9 Black Women Share What Sex-Positivity Means to Them

We already know that Black women are historically underrepresented when it comes to sexual wellness materials and sex positive data. More often than not, Black women have been stigmatized in sexual health research rather than celebrated for leading the sex-positive movement. We’re celebrating Black History Month by committing to change that.

We asked 9 Black women in our own Pure Romance community what sex-positivity means to them and what advice they have for other Black women when it comes to owning their body and sexual wellness. Here’s what they had to say.

What does being sex-positive mean to you?

For me defining the meaning of sex-positive has been difficult at times because within my community, having a dialogue with others or your partner on certain subjects about sex that can be considered to be taboo or there’s misconceptions. However, I feel for me now the meaning of sex-positive is having a sense of freedom to explore my sexuality, to learn not to be afraid to have open conversations when it comes to sexual topics.

— Phaedra Marshall, Accounting Lead at Pure Romance

What advice do you have for Black women when it comes to taking charge of your body and sexual wellness?

Beyonce taught me that sexual confidence is everything, so I’m here to tell you, SEXUAL 👏🏿 CONFIDENCE 👏🏿 IS 👏🏿 EVERYTHING. Embrace this confidence, know what you want, and be open to exploring your wants! Educate yourself on what feels good to YOU, with and without a partner. Never let others dictate your sexual experience or shame you into repressing your sexuality. Don’t feel guilty about taking care of yourself in all facets- sexually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Visit your doctors regularly, educate yourself on the different components of sexual wellness for Black women, and support the organizations that advocate for us- we owe it to the next generation of Black queens to break the stigmas and be the best we can be!

— Liv Wilson, Social Media Team at Pure Romance

 

What advice do you have for Black women when it comes to taking charge of your body and sexual wellness?

My advice to black women when it comes to taking charge of your body and sexual wellness is to be open to educating yourself. In fact, make it a priority because most of us black women were NOT educated about our bodies at all. Be okay with owning your own pleasure and make no apologies about what your wants and needs are once you learn them. Lastly, vow to break the chain of ignorance and miseducation in your families as it pertains to sexual health. Talk to your children and those that you have been given permission to mentor in this area. It will make all the difference for a sex positive future and the physical and mental health of women all around the world.

— Angelia Robinson, Senior Executive Director

What does being sex-positive mean to you?

Being sex positive to me is having a positive attitude and a mutual respect for sex. Amongst sex positive people, sex can be discussed in a safe place. Often times sex is viewed as shameful or wrong, but it’s meant to be beautiful and enjoyed. Talking about sex in a positive light helps eliminate the shaming, the criticism and the misinformation.

— Victoria Taylor, Consultant

 

What advice do you have for Black women when it comes to taking charge of your body and sexual wellness?

For centuries it’s been shown a black woman’s body has always been valued as “less than”. Our breasts belonged to someone else’s children and men, we are labeled as “hoes” or at the very least “angry black woman”. Our parents and church figures made it appear sex is not something you spoke about outside of the bedroom. And the majority of black women feel unless you’re single, you don’t need self-pleasure. Taking charge of your body is as necessary as the air we breathe. Knowing the physical benefits of an orgasm and use of a vibrator is as much medicine as taking aspirin for a headache or insulin for diabetes. It’s also vital to know what turns you on and off so you can have a happy, healthy sex life with your partner.

— Nakia Hazel, Senior National Director

What advice do you have for Black women when it comes to taking charge of your body and sexual wellness?

To Black women that are having a hard time taking control of your body and sexual wellness know that it’s not your fault. Black women have been undervalued, overlooked, and exploited for their sexuality and looks for centuries so take the time to TRULY LOVE yourself from the inside out and know you are BEAUTIFUL.

— Myoshi Smith, Consultant

What does being sex-positive mean to you?

Being sex-positive means being confident with the woman I see in the mirror every day and in every way. Self-uplifting and loving thyself starts with a healthy mindset and firm affirmations that I repeat and believe whole heartedly in.

— Taya Baker, Director

 

What advice do you have for Black women when it comes to taking charge of your body and sexual wellness?

My advice to women of color is to get to know your sexual wellness through exploration and listening to your body. So often we sit in silence but wanting to get an understanding of what we are feeling or not feeling. Give yourself permission to know YOU and love YOU. Sexual health truly matters. Be bold. Be beautiful. Be blissfully YOU and in that moment you shall feel liberated.

— Cynthia Crosby, Advanced Director

 

We’re committed to amplifying the Black voices in our community and devoted to sharing resources that represent and celebrate Black women’s sexual health, love and pleasure. Every single person deserves to know their body, feel pleasure, love whoever they choose to love, and be completely free from shame or stigma when it comes to their sexuality.