Exploring the Pleasure Realm: A Comprehensive Guide to Choosing the Right Dildo

So, you want to buy a dildo. Maybe it’s your first. Maybe it’s your second since pick #1 didn’t knock it out of the park. Maybe your fave clitoral toy needs a partner as you go for the infamous blended orgasm. Whatever your situation, a dildo can be a great start or addition to your intimate collection. To get the perfect pick, it’s essential to consider what separates one toy from another. In this guide, we’ll delve into different aspects like design, vibration features, options for couples, and more. After all, how can you shop without knowing what to look for?

What is it?

“Sex toys” and “dildos” aren’t interchangeable terms. A dildo is always a sex toy, but not every sex toy is a dildo. So, what is it? Webster describes it as “an object resembling a penis used for sexual stimulation,” which still isn’t quite right. Gender expression and exploration are more prominent than ever and with them comes increasingly creative (and less anatomical!) sex toy shapes and designs. Sorry Webster, but your dildo definition needs an update.

We define dildos as sex toys with a focus on internal stimulation. Many characteristics can make one wildly different than another, but all are generally made with body-safe materials and designed for pleasure. They straddle a lot of categories too, which can include Vaginal & G-spot Vibrators, Anal Toys & Play, and Couples Toys.

Now, let’s get into eight points we’ll explore for this comprehensive guide on choosing the right dildo for your needs.

Anatomical vs Non-Representational

When browsing for this type of toy, you’re likely to see things on opposite ends of the anatomical spectrum side by side! Dildos with anatomical designs mimic the appearance of a penis to offer a more “lifelike” feel, but that feel isn’t necessarily realistic or desired by everyone. If you find yourself leaning away from more “traditional” shapes, great news, you can take your pick of non-representational dildos!

Area of Operation

One key consideration is the intended use of your dildo-to-be: anal or vaginal. Dildos designed for anal play often have a flared base to prevent accidental loss inside the body, while those for vaginal play may be curved and/or have other features for G-spot or A-spot stimulation. Opt for a dildo designed for your intended area of use for the best experience.

FYI, the G-spot and A-spot can both be found in the vagina. The G-spot is about 2-3 inches deep and the A-spot is about 4-6 inches deep. And, while both spots are unique to cis and AFAB women, not everyone experiences pleasure via this type of stimulation.

Suction Cups

Suction cup bases are a hallmark of dildos for a reason – they can add dimension to play. Pros include hands-free usage, the ability to attach to various surfaces, and added grip during use. Bases can help keep the toy …

• Fixed within the opening of a toy pillow or harness.
• Stuck to a shower wall or another smooth surface. Pro Tip: For good adhesion, pick a toy with a little depth in the bottom of the base.
• In-hand for easier movement and use.

Where and how do you want to use a dildo? Would a partner want to get in on the fun? Consider what location and usage options you want when deciding on a suction cup base! 

Material Types

Quality silicone? Always a good idea! Most dildos are silicone, though some are made of other body-safe materials like PVC or TPE. Other options include glass for temperature play, stainless steel or wood for firmness, and various types of plastics. Consider factors like texture, flexibility, and ease of cleaning when selecting the material that suits you best.

The main differences between materials are feel and upkeep. Non-motorized toys made of silicone, stainless steel, Pyrex, and stone can withstand a deep clean. This would be an 8–10-minute dip in boiling water and/or a soap-free run through the dishwasher. You should never do a deep clean on motorized toys, of course, regardless of material. Mild cleansers made specifically sex toys will do the trick in most cases! 

Vibration

On the whole, dildos are often non-motorized, but some are. With that comes the choice between battery-operated or rechargeable. One isn’t necessarily better than the other. It depends on your needs i.e., if you’re looking to add a dildo and internal stimulation into the mix with a clitoral vibe, you may not care about vibration for the dildo. But if you’re all about internal focus and want a dildo to be the star of your personal late-night shows, vibration is a big plus!

Size Matters

Size is a significant factor when selecting a dildo, as it directly affects comfort and pleasure. Consider both length and girth, and remember that personal preferences vary widely. If you're new to using dildos, starting with a smaller size. Gradually working your way up can help you find what suits you best.

For One or Two?

Dildos can be a great addition to partnered play! We’re talking double-ended dildos, strapless strap-ons, strap-on attachments that go in harnesses, hollow toys, etc. Just remember not to assume what your partner’s into, especially if you’re the one looking to use toys with your partner. You partner might like something girthy but non-representational or maybe they’re all about vibration and don’t care about shape. Communicate before you shop to make sure everyone’s needs and desires are met!

Perks

Last but not least, our most varied element: bonus features! Given that some dildos skew penile, manufacturers sometimes design toys that inflate, move with “gyration” motions, and more. If you’re looking for something unique to add to your collection, a new dildo may be just what you need.

Choosing the right dildo can be a daunting experience but we hope we’ve armed you with everything you need to know to make the right pick! From shape to unique perks, each toy is a little different because everybody has different likes and dislikes. Remember, the key is to prioritize your comfort and pleasure for yourself and any partner that might be exploring your toy collection too.