Masturbation: Practice Makes Perfect

I typically masturbate simply because I’m in the mood for several consecutive orgasms. Also, I value my alone time and, sometimes, my favorite thing to do when I’m alone is cue up a sexy story on an audio erotica app, pull out my go-to , and go to town.

But self-pleasure can also be used as practice, with your solo sex enhancing the partnered sex you have later on.

In the case of masturbation, practice makes for so much pleasure.

How?

Learn more about what feels good to you

Sometimes, when we engage in solo sex, we have the tendency to go straight to the tried-and-true method we know will bring us most quickly to orgasm. (It’s me. Hi. I’m the problem. It’s me.) But self-pleasure can also be an opportunity to explore your own body, giving you the chance to learn what feels best.

Which spots on your body yield the most pleasure? What types of touch do your body respond to? How hard or soft do you like to be touched there? How fast or slow do you like that finger to be flicked over there? Do you prefer small circular motions? Long, sweeping caresses? Something else entirely?

Once you know, you can share this information with your partner, who—unfortunately—cannot read your mind.

Think: Sexy air traffic controller.

Experiment with new sources of pleasure

As an extension of the previous tip, you may feel extremely familiar with your body and its responses to various types of stimulation, but it’s still possible to fall into a rut over time. Every so often, consider mixing it up.

If you usually use toys, try using just your hand. Or a scarf. Or one of those fluffy, feathery . If you tend to focus on your genitals, or on the most common erogenous zones (nipples, ears, etc.), reconsider the other parts of your body. Like your scalp. Or your navel. Or your inner thighs. If you always lie on your back before getting busy, consider propping your hips up on a prop for a new angle, or flipping over onto all fours. You might discover something you really enjoy, which you can then bring to the bedroom the next time you’re playing with your partner.

Dip a toe into dirty talk

I am not vocal during sex. It feels too vulnerable. Instead, I’m completely silent, like a total creeper.

When I masturbate, however, I feel free to moan and gasp and breathe heavily. I should probably bring some of that energy to sexy time with my spouse. After all, I know I’m turned on by the sound of someone else’s pleasure. It’s why I enjoy audio erotica so much. So why am I depriving my partner of that same source of pleasure?

Once you get more comfortable with those more reflexive sounds, solo sex can also be a good time to try dirty talk. See what feels natural and authentic and what feels silly. Are you the sexy air traffic controller, telling your partner where to go and what to do? Are you the person who narrates what’s happening and how it feels? What feels right?

Try edging to build your sexual stamina

As fellow Buzz blog contributor Yael explained, edging is a sexual technique in which you intentionally stop or reduce stimulation right before the point of no return in order to delay orgasm. Practicing edging can increase arousal, make you last longer, and make any orgasms you do have extra intense.

Read Yael’s post for the full lowdown, incorporate it into your solo play, and then wow your partner with those new skills the next time you two get together.

Pre-game right before the main event

Sometimes, I like to masturbate right before sexy times with my spouse. I do this because I have a lower libido than him and am also slow to both arousal and desire. If I’m down to get intimate but my nether regions are a barren desert, I’ll use solo sex to rev my engine…especially if we’re low on time.

Are you looking forward to that alone time? Here’s to practice that feels pleasurable.