How to Talk About Sex with Your Partner: Expert Tips

We get it – talking about sex with your significant other or FWB can feel nerve-wracking.

Even when you’re totally comfortable with your partner, discussing your sexual desires and fantasies can be tricky. But if you’re ready to crank up the heat on your next sexcapade and aren’t quite sure where to start, we’ve got some expert tips and information to help you out!

If You’re Not Reaching the Finish Line…
No, it’s not just you – 81.6% of women don’t orgasm from intercourse alone. Most women need clitoral stimulation during intercourse to reach orgasm, while most men climax almost every time. That’s what we call the Orgasm Gap. Starting the conversation about what is or isn’t working can help you and your partner explore new ways to satisfy each other and share more frequent orgasms. Plus, talking about these needs can make your connection even stronger.

Toys Are the Sundae Toppings of Sex
Imagine your favorite ice cream – let’s say it’s chocolate chip. Delicious, right? But every once in a while, you might want to turn that simple scoop into a decadent hot fudge sundae with sprinkles. That’s what bringing a sex toy to your bedroom is like. It’s not about replacing your partner or suggesting your sex life is lacking. It’s just a way to add some extra flair to an already great experience. Remind your partner that a toy is just a fun way to enhance what you both already enjoy.

Exploring Kink: Taking It to the Next Level
If you’re feeling adventurous and want to explore new dimensions of pleasure, introducing kink can be an exciting way to spice things up – whether in or out of the bedroom. Kink isn’t just about pushing boundaries; it’s about discovering new ways to connect and enjoy each other. The key is communication – start by discussing your curiosities and comfort zones with your partner. Whether you’re into roleplay, light bondage, or experimenting with power dynamics, it’s all about finding what works for both of you. 

Let’s Get Specific: What You Like (and Don’t Like)
Openly discussing what turns you on and what doesn’t can lead to more satisfying and intimate experiences. Whether it’s about using a particular toy or trying something new, being honest about your preferences can bring you closer to your partner. A great way to explore this is by using a “Yes, No, Maybe” list like this one, where you can both share your thoughts and boundaries.

And while you’re at it, don’t forget to talk about sex positions. Just like with toys and kinks, experimenting with different positions can add an exciting twist to your routine. Whether you’re into the classics or want to try something new, being open about what positions work best for both of you can lead to even more pleasure. Remember, it’s all about communication and finding the perfect blend of techniques that make your time together unforgettable.

Whether they were all for it or needed some convincing, the most important thing is that you’ve opened up an honest dialogue. According to Sex Therapist Dr. Madeleine Castellanos, “communication is an ongoing dynamic in a relationship. Without communication and understanding of each other’s wants, you won’t be able to take advantage of the growth that happens throughout your relationship.” By having this conversation now, you’re setting the stage for more open discussions and new adventures in the future.