Yes, No, Maybe: The Ultimate Bedroom Wish List

Why Every Couple Needs a Yes, No, Maybe List

Talking about what you want in bed can feel like trying to order off a menu in a language you only kind of speak. You know you're hungry for something, you just aren't sure how to say it out loud (or whether your partner will raise an eyebrow). A Yes, No, Maybe list takes the guesswork out of the conversation. Each of you privately sorts a list of activities into what you're excited about, what you're curious about, and what's a hard pass, then you compare notes. Suddenly the awkward "so... what are you into?" becomes a fun, low-pressure game that reveals overlap you never knew you had. It's part communication tool, part bucket list, and part foreplay, and it works whether you've been together three months or thirty years.

How to Fill Out Your List

Grab two copies (one each), find a cozy spot, and fill yours out solo so nobody's answers sway the other's. Sort every activity into one of four columns, then add a little shorthand to get specific. When you're both done, swap lists and start with where your yeses line up. Treat every "no" as final, no debate or explanation required. And remember, this isn't a contract. Desires change, so revisit your list whenever you want a fresh spark.

The four columns

• Yes, Into: You're excited to do or try this. Bring it on.
• Yes, Willing: Not your top craving, but you'd happily do it if your partner loves it.
• Maybe: You're curious, unsure, want to learn more first, or you're only into it under certain conditions.
• No: Off the table. Full stop.

The shorthand

• T for Top/Giver: you want to be the one doing it.
• B for Bottom/Receiver: you want to be on the receiving end.
• X for Never Tried: new territory for you.
• ! for Favorite: an all-time fave worth bookmarking.

Love giving and receiving? Skip the T or B and leave it open. Write-ins are encouraged too, because the best list is the one you customize together.

Your Yes, No, Maybe List

Start here, then add your own. Activities are grouped from sweet to spicy, so ease in or skip straight to the good stuff.

Your Yeses Are Calling

Found a few shared yeses? Now comes the fun part. Before you dive into anything new, agree on a safe word, start slow, and check in often. Then stock up on whatever your list says you're craving, from a couples' vibe to a silky blindfold, and let the exploring begin. Because the hottest thing you can bring to bed is a conversation you were brave enough to have.